Tam and Serenity in the snow

Christmas, for me at least, was so full of wild weather that there seemed to be no still point in the turning year. I’ve never had much feeling for New Year celebrations but this year, it was on New Year’s Eve that a space for reflection opened up and I was surprised by a sense of the sacred. Looking back over the year, I felt a lot of grief, for losses in my own life and in the life of the world. It felt strangely right to pause and simply grieve, like returning to some wellspring of being. For a short time I stopped worrying about the future, stopped trying to get it all sorted and just rested in the present, in a sense of openess and trust….and even though it won’t last, it was good to remember. Sometimes my sense of living seems to open up for a time, as if I stand at the edge of a much greater reality and one vibrant with some kind of depth, some sense of meaning. I don’t understand and I don’t even mind not understanding but if I had any new year’s resolution it would be to remember and return to this way of living more.